I don't know why I write here sometimes. My wife is the only one that reads it. And Drs really don't care about these details. Its not an effective venting ground. I guess its my little "Proof" that I knew what was going on in the event that my HA1C comes back high and the Dr wants to scold me.
Look.
This damn BG keeps blowing up the meter when I'm awake. My sinuses are faintly sore and my left eye is still hurting from a Pan retinal Photocoagulation procedure. In the morning I felt fine, but was pretty darn rushed and didn't check my BG. I gradually felt like crap and when I did check (~11am) it was 342mg/dL.
What is this shit? Seriously. This is completely ridiculous. I'm stressed and exhausted and I just want it to stop sucking. I worked so F&*KING hard to keep it under control and months and now this last month before I get my HA1c checked, it goes bonkers and I'll never know if my numbers actually got better. All the docs will see is crap the whole way through.
Well fuck you doctor. And fuck you diabetes. I'm eating my fucking lunch anyway.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Today... its the High road for me
Its been one of those nasty, unexplanable weeks. My BG has been bonkers. I'm skyrocketing overnight and dipping when I correct.... sometimes. Other times my corrections are just fine and the expected dose works well. Because of this fluctuation I can't really make changes to the three holy numbers of pumpers;
Basal
Bolus
Correction
Because SOMETIMES it works and SOMETIMES it doesn't.
Its the Seasons changing, its the tickle in my throat, its the extra stress at work, its depression, its anxiety, its the traveling, and its all amplified by the existence of each problem. Its a conundrum of diabetes that becomes a discouraging factor in everyday life and I personally feel that its something medical doctors quickly forget (or have never fully recognized).
Last night, I was 200 before dinner... probably because I was 279 before lunch, crashed at 60 after lunch and overate before dinner. Before bed 150. Morning..... 379!!!! INFURIATING!!!
Diabetics need consistent normal BG to be healthy. They need exercise and good food and plenty of sleep. Fudge up any of those factors and the wheel gets lopsided and problems start compiling. Didn't sleep well? Your BG could go high, making you sleepy and sluggish and not sleep well the next night. Not eating well? Missing meals? Then you're in the high and low game. Sick?.... the problems work off each other so the combinations are exhausting.
Solutions? Check often and correct often. Do your best to get good long sleep. Avoid caffeine and try to breath deeply at work. That is all you can do. And if a doctor trys to yell at you doing a time like this, tell him/her "F&*k off. This is really really hard for me and if you don't think I'm trying then you don't know anything." Words of encouragement are needed. Not words of blame.
I sympathize with you... that's all I want to hear.
Basal
Bolus
Correction
Because SOMETIMES it works and SOMETIMES it doesn't.
Its the Seasons changing, its the tickle in my throat, its the extra stress at work, its depression, its anxiety, its the traveling, and its all amplified by the existence of each problem. Its a conundrum of diabetes that becomes a discouraging factor in everyday life and I personally feel that its something medical doctors quickly forget (or have never fully recognized).
Last night, I was 200 before dinner... probably because I was 279 before lunch, crashed at 60 after lunch and overate before dinner. Before bed 150. Morning..... 379!!!! INFURIATING!!!
Diabetics need consistent normal BG to be healthy. They need exercise and good food and plenty of sleep. Fudge up any of those factors and the wheel gets lopsided and problems start compiling. Didn't sleep well? Your BG could go high, making you sleepy and sluggish and not sleep well the next night. Not eating well? Missing meals? Then you're in the high and low game. Sick?.... the problems work off each other so the combinations are exhausting.
Solutions? Check often and correct often. Do your best to get good long sleep. Avoid caffeine and try to breath deeply at work. That is all you can do. And if a doctor trys to yell at you doing a time like this, tell him/her "F&*k off. This is really really hard for me and if you don't think I'm trying then you don't know anything." Words of encouragement are needed. Not words of blame.
I sympathize with you... that's all I want to hear.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Morning Highs
So for the past week or so my BG goes nuts in the morning. I'll wake up a bit on the low side (70's) and by lunch its close to 300. Today I began at 95 and now at 11:30am, its at 244mg/dL.
I don't know why. I don't know if its not enough sleep, too much sleep, too much activity, or coffee... what I do know is that it is very irritating. I've been trying to get a grip on my fluctuating sugars, but it seems like the transition from Winter to Spring is being really tough for me. I guess in the winter I need more insulin and the Spring I need less. So the transitions between seasons are difficult to manage.
I just hope it settles down soon.
I don't know why. I don't know if its not enough sleep, too much sleep, too much activity, or coffee... what I do know is that it is very irritating. I've been trying to get a grip on my fluctuating sugars, but it seems like the transition from Winter to Spring is being really tough for me. I guess in the winter I need more insulin and the Spring I need less. So the transitions between seasons are difficult to manage.
I just hope it settles down soon.
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